


If Not Forever, Then Tonight

by mostlyspntrash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blogger Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Diner/Coffeeshop AU, M/M, Waiter Dean, a little sastiel, deancas soft boi hours, dine-chesters, this is my first fanfic pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26340814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlyspntrash/pseuds/mostlyspntrash
Summary: In which Castiel revisits a diner in a small town to see his old friend.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	If Not Forever, Then Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi, I wrote this in one sitting based off a 5-second dream I had. Bare with me, it's the first fanfic I've ever written. Hope you enjoy though :)

_Dine Chester’s._

A play on words, Castiel hadn’t noticed the first time he visited the coffee shop that stood quietly on the corner of the intersection. The owner of the establishment was John Winchester, a crabby old man who cursed like a sailor even when his kids were present. Once, his youngest son had misunderstood the diner’s name, when it was _Dine Winchester’s._ He forgot the _win_ in his name, putting the rest of the name together so they mashed together into _dine-chester._

Nonetheless, the father rebranded. A funny story that, at the time, no one knew but the family, like a secret they had no opportunity present to tell. Now everyone knew, because Castiel snuck the story into his blog about the diner— with permission, of course.

Castiel let out a small sigh as he slid his hands into the pockets of his trenchcoat, absently watching the diner from across the street. He had been standing there for an embarrassing fifteen minutes, working the courage to walk in like he was just another ordinary customer who wanted a plate of burger and fries. Admittedly, he _did_ want a burger and fries, but that wasn’t the reason he was here today.

He takes a deep breath and, without thinking twice, crosses the street. It was now or never, right? Might as well get it over with.

There were a few people in the diner, Castiel notices as he walks in, letting the door close behind him. He hesitates, moving towards the counter and sitting on one of the stools where he was met by a vaguely familiar young woman.

“Hi,” she starts, smiling as she places a menu in front of Castiel. “I’m Jessica. Welcome to _Dine Chester’s_.”

“Hello.” Castiel tentatively returns the smile. “I, uh- I have a question.”

Jessica nods. “Sure. What’s up?”

“Do you know a-”

“Cas?”

He stops short, watching Sam Winchester fall beside Jessica with a rather confused smile on his face. Castiel nods, looking at Jessica. “Never mind,” he adds quietly and the woman glances at Sam before nodding and moving away. “Hello, Sam.”

“Hey, man,” Sam says, the surprise on his face now a softened fondness. “It’s- It’s real good to see you.”

Cas smiles. “Likewise.”

“I mean, how long has it been? Two years?”

“More or less.” _Eleven months and fifteen days._ “But who’s counting?”

Sam grins, gesturing at Castiel. “The suit’s new.”

“What? Oh, yes, it’s new.”

“The jeans weren’t doing it for you, huh?” Castiel nods and Sam shakes his head, absently drumming his fingers on the counter. He glances around the diner before looking back in front of him, still grinning ear to ear. “So, what can I- what can I get you?”

Castiel pauses, picking up the menu, his previous desire for a burger fading. “A milkshake is fine.”

“Vanilla?” Sam asks and Castiel nods. “Wise choice. Jess?”

She gives Sam a thumbs-up, nodding. “On it.”

“You’re the best.” He looks back at Castiel, nodding at the boy. “So? How have you been? What have you been up to?”

Castiel pauses, not sure how to answer either questions. “I’ve been good. Traveling, still." He pauses, remembering a conversation they had many moons ago. The memory was, however, mostly faded now. "Speaking of, I visited California last summer.”

“You did?” Castiel watches Sam’s eyes light up, a familiar sight he’ll admit he had missed seeing. He had remembered correctly, the Winchester's desire to leave town and go to college. It must've ran in the family. “How was it?”

“Hot.”

Sam laughs. “Figured. Did you get a chance to see Stanford?”

“I did, actually. It’s a good school.” Castiel hesitates. “Do you still want to attend Stanford?”

Sam presses his lips together, shaking his head. “It’s all good. I go to a local college here. Kansas University. It’s not Stanford, but it’s good enough.”

Castiel nods. “That’s good.”

“Yeah.” Sam clears his throat, eyeing Castiel carefully. “You’re not here just to order a milkshake, are you?”

“The milkshakes _are_ good.”

Sam chuckles. “Yeah, that they are.”

Castiel nods again, his gaze falling onto the menu. He had been building the courage to visit the diner for months now, with loose ends he desperately needed to tie, searching for closure he knew he might not get.

Now that he was here? He had no idea what to say.

Jessica places the milkshake in front of Castiel, smiling briefly before moving away, and he moves the glass closer to him. Sam sighs and Castiel looks at him. “I know what you’re going to ask,” he starts slowly, smiling but it was thin, as though he didn’t want to have this conversation. “He’s okay. Good, even.”

Castiel nods. Somehow, the information didn’t make him feel any better. “That’s good. Is he- Is here, still working?”

“No. He left a couple of months ago.”

“Oh.”

Of course. He knew it was coming, but he still wasn’t ready to hear it.

“Yeah, Dean packed up his stuff one day and walked out,” Sam says, Castiel catching the edge in his voice. “Said he needed a vacation, see the world once before, and I quote, _‘I die in the same town I was born in_ ’. You know how he was.”

Castiel couldn’t say anything else, instead nodding as he picks at the corner of the menu.

“He’s okay, though, Cas. He calls every day, sends pictures of the places he visited.” Sam smiles. “He was in Texas the other day and he said he played with a band. It was a whole thing, singing at some club with some friends. He never sounded happier.” He pauses for a moment, holding Castiel’s gaze. “Well, except when he was dating you.”

“Oh.” Castiel shakes his head, his throat tightening. “That’s- Okay.”

Sam nods. “Yeah. You know, Dean actually left something for you.”

“He did?”

“It’s upstairs in his room, I think in one of the boxes. I have no idea what it was, but it was the only thing he left behind when he moved out.”

Castiel ignores the fuzzy feeling rising in his chest, biting back his smile. “Can I- Do you mind?”

Sam shakes his head. “Not at all. Go ahead, knock yourself out.”

“Thank you.” Castiel climbs off the stool, starting to move towards the back doors when he stops, walking back to the counter and picking up the milkshake. “Taking this with me.”

—

The diner was connected to their apartment, a back door leading upstairs where their rooms stood. It was another story of its own, the Winchester’s old house catching on fire after a kitchen mishap, so they renovated the diner, adding a little place to stay in the back. They said it was a good thing, home was closer to work, work was closer to home, but Castiel remembered how the eldest Winchester felt about the entire situation.

Dean saw no difference between work and home, the thin line that should’ve kept the two apart now gone, letting the worlds collide. A small issue that the boys were having, an issue Castiel had forgotten when he left

There were three bedrooms, one for each member of the family. Castiel quietly moves into the last room in the hall, vacant minus a few stray boxes, catching dust in the corner of the room.

Castiel didn’t know what to expect, in all honesty. An item of his that the Winchester still had, maybe a few photographs of their time together. That was what he was hoping for, but he knew there could also easily be nothing here. Nothing special, nothing worth getting excited for.

The boxes weren’t labeled, so Castiel picked up the closest one to him, setting it to the side. He sits down, crossing his legs as he eyes the box carefully. Sighing, he opens it, finding more than a handful of cassette tapes with a handwritten note laying on top of them. He picks the note up, skimming through the few words:

_Dumbass left before I could give these to him._

Castiel scoffs, picking up one of the mixtapes. Each one was labeled with a few words or less, the one he held reading _Rain Date_ . He picks up another mixtape, which read, _Official_ , then another, _Road Trip_ , and then another, _Movie Night w Sammy_.

It took Castiel a moment to realize but it was clear what Dean had done; he had created a mixtape for each of their dates.

“Of course he did,” Castiel gets out as he places the tapes into the box, his vision blurring but he refuses to get emotional over this. The time and effort it must’ve taken and Castiel had left before Dean got the chance to give it to him.

Castiel picks up another box, clearing his throat before peering into it, finding wadded up pieces of paper and wrappers. He closes the box, moving onto the last one which held a few of his old shirts that he had left in Dean’s room. Folded neatly, with an envelope resting on top of it with his name written across the paper.

He picks it up, hesitating before opening it.

_Cas —_

It was a letter.

_This feels cheesy. It’s cheesy, right? Love letters are for people in love or something, regular letters are for old people who don’t know how to use technology or fancy people who send out personal invitations through the mail. Me, though? Writing a letter to you, that you won’t even read? Cheesy, maybe bonderline stupid._

Castiel smiles. Dean writes exactly how he talks.

_Anyways, it’s been a few months since you… you know. I was waiting for you to come back, or visit, or send me a stupid letter saying you missed me. Something, anything, even if it was just a good-bye. I didn’t even get that. What kind of guy doesn’t say bye? I don’t know, maybe someone who had no intentions of coming back._

_You left, and I didn’t stop you. I should’ve stopped you, but you had another plan in mind. And hey, it’s okay! I’m not hurt (anymore, I might add), but a little heads-up would’ve been nice. Next time you plan on leaving me like that, tell me, why don’t you? At least then I’ll get to kiss you good-bye._

He chuckles, but his eyes start to water anyway.

_This ain’t about that, but I had to give it off my chest. I really am okay with you leaving, because your life is different than mine. Traveling, taking photos and writing papers about the places you see. Living the dream. I can’t hate you for doing that, I knew you weren’t even gonna stay in town for that long anyway._

Castiel had stayed longer than he intended though, living here for months whereas he usually spent a few days at most in each place he visited.

_God, I don’t want to bother you with a letter of me complaining. You left! You left me! How sad, boo-hoo. I’ll write another letter about how pretty you are, okay? Your blue eyes and cute smile and that thing you do when you squint your eyes and tilt your head? I don’t know, I’ll write whatever romantic shit people write in love letters._

_Wow, would you look at that? I really am in love, huh?_

At that point, Castiel couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

_Do you remember our first date? It wasn’t even a date, we both happened to be at the park at the same time and decided, ‘Hey, let’s hang!’ and we did! Walked around, talked for hours, fed the ducks or whatever you were feeding when I approached you. Then it rained! And I was ready to run for it but you stayed, and you let the rain fall onto you, and I did the only thing that came to mind._

Dean had kissed him.

_Can I tell you a secret? I knew you’d be at the park that day. Sam mentioned how you always visited parks no matter what city you were in, some place outside where you can be alone. I thought it was a great opportunity to find you and get to know you, and hey, would you look at that? I was right! Best day of my life, hands down._

_God, especially kissing you._

It was a good kiss, wasn’t it?

_Cas, you are truly the angel in my life. You came and my life lit up, just like that. Everyone loved you, even Dad who, as you know, isn’t too fond of our homoerotic adventures. You made everything better, like the rainbow at the end of the storm. Is this getting too gay? Deal with it, the next letter is going to be worse._

Castiel laughs.

_I don’t know what I did to deserve you. My life was dull and boring before you, I hated my life. Sure, Sam made things somewhat better, but it felt like it had no purpose. Then you came and taught me to appreciate the little things in life, to look for the good in all the bad. Suddenly, what was an exclusively black and white life became a vision of colors, or some poetic shit like that._

_You’re gone now though, but the colors you created are still here. I go on walks around the park all the time, sometimes with Sam and Jess. We have picnics, we feed the ducks, and we talk about you. All good things, all good things, don’t worry._

That’s who Jessica was. Sam’s girlfriend.

_When I first told Sam about you, he had said it was weird, to be in love with someone who had no intention of staying. Just the idea of learning about them and loving everything about them and still having to watch them leave a stranger. And I remember watching you walk into the diner that day asking for a burger and an affordable hotel to stay at, knowing loving you would be a mistake because you’d soon have to go._

_I love you anyway though, but it wasn’t a mistake. We’ll meet again, I’ll make sure of it. We might not have forever._

“But we’ll always have tonight,” Castiel whispers, sniffling before he laughs. “God, you’re an idiot.”

_I really hope you finished that, or otherwise, me leaving it blank would look kind of awkward._

Castiel smiles, shaking his head. The letter ends there, and as promised, there was another paper in the envelope, shorter than the one he had read but still just as cute. He sets the letters down on the clothes before wiping his eyes, chuckling under his breath.

They’ll meet again, Castiel will make sure of it.


End file.
